Levi just asked me "Mom I shouldn't talk to strangers right?" I paused. Several months I would have quickly said, 'Right'. But recently I read a book that has helped me to get a little different point of view on parenting called "Free Range Parenting".
I'm not huge on parenting books, partly because I don't have a ton of time to read like I used to and partly because in any book or article you can find just as many articles to contradict it. So I try more to go on what I feel is right for us and our kids, what the pediatrician says and what I have learned from talking to friends who have gone through what I have.
The reason why I decided to read this particular book was because it was highly recommended by a mom who I think is amazing and knew that if she recommended it, it would be a good read.
If I could sum it up in one sentence it would be that the book is about taking a step back and not over parent kids. It talks about how things are so different from when I was growing up. Walking to school? I did that every day by myself all through elementary school and even on some days Jr. High and High School (they were both pretty far). Now? Hardly anyone does it. Playing outside without shoes and a coat? I loved it but now, what IS that mother thinking???? They might catch a cold. Going out front to play some kick ball or hide and seek with the neighbors? My streets seem practically deserted. When I drive around rarely do I see kids playing, even on sunny days. It's makes me a little sad sometimes because I remember all the good memories I have of playing hide and seek with friends, building a fort in the orchard behind our house, or playing in the rain barefoot in jeans and a tee shirt.
Now we live in a time where we allow fear to dictate what we will and will not allow our children to do because we see this as dangerous times, with threats of child abductions, abuse or worse and believe it is all on the rise. Because of this it would be unsafe and negligent to give our children any of the same freedoms we had to roam roam neighborhoods without parents. So their lives have become a series of planned activities making them extremely supervised and very scheduled.
In reality we live in much safer times than when I was a kid. Yeah, I didn't know that one but it's true. Also I found out that there has never been a substantiated case of a child getting poisoned by Halloween candy. Ever. But media likes to hype things up because you don't get ratings from news stories talking about how the streets are have gotten safer or to stop worrying about any poisoned candy.
In one part of the book it talked about how we have all been taught to tell our kids not to talk to strangers. If they were lost what would they need to do to find their parents? TALK TO A STRANGER. We teach them to find a police man or something but what if one isn't there? Just the other day I was in a department store and I saw a little girl of 4-5 alone. I look at her, and she at me for several moments. Then she told me she was looking at the toys and lost her mom and dad. I took her hand and we soon found her mom. Me, a stranger, was able to help her.
As a missionary all I did was talk to strangers everywhere I went. I loved being able to talk to and meet new people I otherwise would have never come in contact with. Even before that if I was riding a bus or airplane, while I would at times be nervous talking to a stranger, I was always glad I did and I learned that people, as a whole are good and not out to steal from me or try to kill me.
The book emphasized that instead of teaching kids not to talk to strangers to rather never go with a stranger. And as soon as I read that I decided that is what I wanted to do and to teach to them. I don't want to my boys to think that the world is a fearful, dangerous place full of people wanting to take them away and hurt them. But that overall people are good and wonderful to talk to, just don't ever go anywhere with someone without talking to mom or dad.
It was a great read and gave me a lot of hope for the future.
The end.
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