Hilarious Max

We were eating/making homemade sorbet with coconut milk, raspberries and a little apple juice to which Max exclaimed 'I love natural sugars!'

During dinner we were talking about the fact that after you eat food it goes down your esophagus which naturally lead to Max proceeding to describe what happens after. "Then it goes in the stomach, the small intestine, the large intestine then out the bum bum." He continued "If you drink water it comes out.......(looking down at crotch area) the thing that makes my pants so lumpy." Kids say the darnedest things.

At the park Levi climbed to the top of a big dome structure and yelled "I'm the king of the world!" To which Max promptly told him, "No you're not. Jesus is!" And kept yelling it because Levi wasn't really listening.

I asked Max what he was doing. "Making  lots of monkeys ask lots of questions."  I blame Jason for that one.

For pretty much everything he likes to say, "I think it needs a few more finishing touches."

When he dropped his straw, "There goes my dignity" he said with a sigh. I burst out laughing and found out it was from How to Train your Dragon. 

Max normally goes in the boys room now with Levi but he was only with me so I had him go in girls bathroom with me. He was in the larger handicapped stall with me and asks about the little garbage can. "Is it for little girls only?" He totally thought it was a little garbage can just for little girls.

Max had  apparently fallen and hurt his lip so naturally he runs in to me crying, "You shouldn't have made the floor so hard!"  Uhhhh. Sorry?

I love how he randomly says "That's awkward." All the time. I have no idea where he got it.

I've been working on spelling with Levi which had spilled over to Max. Sometimes I'll spell words out randomly. One day I say, "It's time to go H O M E home". Max replies, "Like Home Depot!" You can tell he's been there once or twice.

We were reading an Earth science book and there was this question on the page which I ask him, "Why does the Earth shake?" Max, "Because Jesus is angry."  I didn't know how to respond, mostly because I was trying to keep from laughing.

Max: What did you get for your birthday.
Me: A baby.
Max: A present is fun. Babies are not fun. 

After a long time of quiet Max comes up to me, "Mom, did you know I can speak in dog language? Woof woof!"

We were in the living room and I saw Max hitting the ground where the sun was shining. Me, "What are you doing?"   Max,  "I'm trying to catch my shadow." pause   "Mom, how do you sew your shadow?"  Yeah, we had seen Peter Pan recently.

Had a big fridge box they were playing with. Some how tore a small flap at the bottom. "Do you like the genious  door I created?"

Max: Mom can you help me open my door?
Me: What happened, did you lock it? (for some reason the lock is on the inside of their room door)
Max: I think Grampy's spirit locked it.
Note. He now blames 'Grampy's spirit' on a lot of things good and bad. "Mom, Grampy just gave you a sneak hug!"

Showing off a necklace to me, "Do I look like a smart kid? All smart kids wear necklaces."

Max taking a shower and we were trying to convince home to wash hair which he hates. "But that is the worst thing ever!'

We were talking in the car about how we are all children of God and that Jesus is our brother, so we should all be kind to each other. He suddenly made the connection that I was his mom and sister, to which he responded that it's "weird, but cool. "

Max came home from Disneyland with quite a haul. 10 days with grandparents will do that. While we were headed off to the grocery store he says,  "I am quite the shopper!" Me, "How so?" Max, "I can spend a LOT of money" I guess he gets that from me.

I hear a familiar sound coming from the living room so I come in and find Max had put my breast pump up his shirt and turned it on.  I couldn't contain the laughter.

We were practicing spelling words with Levi and like I always tell him his secret weapon in spelling is reading so if he spells it and it doesn't read right it might not be spelled correctly and maybe try again. Max, " So you know what my secret spelling weapon is? Peeking."